The Importance of Village
In the previous post I outlined the importance of revising our adequacy and stepping out of scarcity and into all that is possible in the world of abundance. My books also provide the simple program I followed for building village with others and developing our authenticity while cultivating the courage to express ourselves completely.
From: The Joy of Authentic Expression: A Guide to Peace, Adequacy, and Connection Through Love
By Joe Moulis
The Authentically Grounded Person is by definition connected to their village, with a sense of belonging that reinforces our internal sense of adequacy. We cultivate an assuredness that we are loved and valued and can get all of our needs met through our connections and contributions to the village and to the world. The loving support and shared admiration of our fellow villagers helps us be more resilient in the face of difficulty. We can strive for big things and take on more responsibility with this support. We carry ourselves more confidently, and we are not afraid to speak our authentic truths: we demonstrate our strength and prowess in our character. In this way, we live from a place of fullness and more easily recognize opportunities for growth and attract others to our stability.
The importance of the village framework:
Our aim here is to provide the framework for setting up your inspiration group wherever you live in the world. For this to be a success for everyone involved, we feel it is important to give you a clear description of the importance of building and maintaining relationships with others in your village.
We have created this program for you! You might already be doing these things yourself, therefore the tools and insights will be beneficial to your friends and others in your village. Share them widely. Our lover will also benefit greatly when we embody these concepts. My purpose is to deliver this essential set of tools and insights to people around the world so that they can create more joy and fulfillment in their lives. I encourage you to connect with others regularly to utilize an ancient form of growth and expansion from our evolution as human beings. Specifically, let’s seek to bring challenge and accountability back into relating with others for the benefit of everyone. For thousands of years we humans have come together to inspire each other to our greatness; to be of service to something bigger than themselves and to celebrate life together in village with other men and women.
I believe that many of the current problems in society are based in the fact that men are not spending enough time challenging each other and learning to build loving and supportive connections with others. Isolation from others tends to undermine our ability to develop the internal validation necessary for self-love and our deepest sense of adequacy. The lack of a shared purpose of service to something bigger than ourselves is also undermining our ability to be our best.
Why do we isolate ourselves from others?
I believe it is because we are unaware of the negative repercussions. We get focused on other things and we don’t recognize that we are less energetic or less optimistic about things in our lives. It’s like a loop: in isolation, no one is there to point out to us that we are much more fun to be around when we have been hanging out with others. My girlfriend describes me as happier, more enthusiastic, and more energetic after a good bike ride with friends. So, she encourages me to get regular exercise and to enjoy connecting with others authentically. She notes that afterwards I am more decisive and more enthusiastic about enjoying activities with her, rather than showing up with unmet needs in general. She will tell you that I’m less distracted and better able to share my attention with her, as I’m in a more peaceful state when I show up full and have my basic needs met. Let’s do that!
Let’s look at some more reasons why many of us self-isolate. Maybe we get beat down by the world and we are not optimistic about our prospects in general. At those times, we don’t feel the desire to confidently put ourselves out there. Other times we might not feel good enough, or we are otherwise uninspired to connect with others. Sometimes it’s a matter of time management, when the pace of our lives is out of step with meeting our primary needs of connection (with men and women). In this section, we will shine a bright light on this specific aspect of our modern lives, so we can recognize these trends in our behaviors and make adjustments as needed to correct these disconnections.
Our shared goal here is to help each other be better lovers, better parents, better spouses, better community members and leaders. This goal is generally not workable without cultivation of a centered sense of self, an authentic grounding, and a deep self-esteem based on living our values with integrity. These skills are naturally developed though challenging ourselves to be our best among others – so let’s do that. Going forward in our lives, let’s not allow these skills or our confidence to wither in isolation. To be our best for ourselves, for our village, and for our lover, we will need to continue hanging out with other inspired people for the rest of our lives! Okay?
Some aspects of modern life which undermine our connections:
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Many men and women don’t feel comfortable expressing their full selves, and this can look like:
- Isolation and disconnecting from the full range of our gifts and abilities.
- Being pigeonholed into a specific set of skills: allowing our career to define large parts of our identity, and then becoming stuck there.
- We “practice” living with a lack of authenticity when working at a job we no longer care much about.
- Being fearful of losing our source of income and thus allowing it to become our only source of adequacy.
- A view of the world where we don’t feel safe to be our true selves and we feel that we have no other option than to be inauthentic and simply hope that some scraps will fall in our direction.
- Putting our passions and interests on hold and not pursuing what is fun and interesting to us – seeking instead safety in the comfort of playing small.
- Losing some of our passion for life and not caring for ourselves.
- Cutting ourselves off from our sense of wellness, when we isolate ourselves from the nurturing container of healthy relationships with other men and women.
- Becoming disconnected from reality around sex and our adequacy and fixating on sexual celebrity in an inaccurate scarcity perspective on others, ourselves, and the world; all of which permeates other areas of our lives and drastically limits our success and fulfillment.
- Abusing the power of our attention, training it on the most flashy and seductive celebrities in society or in pornography, while missing out on real and honest connection with men and women who might otherwise show interest in getting to know us.
- A loss of connection to our true self, struggling to simply get our basic needs met. We feel unloved and unlovable, and this undermines our optimism and breaks our spirit; we suffer with a type of broken heart about our lives and about the world.
- We often become dishonest with ourselves and with others, stuck in the safety-net of our ego and unable to bring forth our truths. Our integrity becomes “dis-integrated”. Healthy relationships are built on trust, but this lack of integrity in our character undermines any ability to cultivate and foster connections with others; especially other potential partners.
Well, that all sucks! Let’s not do any more of that!
In growing our supportive and loving village as I outline in “The Joy of Authentic Expression” we will consciously challenge ourselves among other supportive men and women. We will revise our sense of adequacy and embody our lovability as our confidence grows.
For more tools and insights, please download my free e-books and share this ancient wisdom with your village. If you need assistance getting started, you can schedule a free 30 minute coaching session - I am here to help! Good work!
Thank you, Joe
https://lovecoachjoe.com
